Yes I know this is 3 months late, but better late then never right?!?
January came and went. I’m starting to think that the months are flying by super fast now. I’m not the primary chorister anymore. After a few months of doing it, it didn’t get any easier for me to stand up in front of the kids. I prayed and prayed for help, I knew He called me there for a reason and I feel bad that my nerves got the best of me, and after talking to the bishop about it he released me. But I gotta say I love my new callings!! They kept me in primary as the 9-11 year olds teacher and the primary activity day leader. For the activity day there is another lady who is also there that has some really fun ideas for the girls. I’m excited to see how the year goes.
February came and went just about as fast as January. We learned that Brandon and Stephanie are pregnant again but with twins! We are excited for them and know they will do great and that Cecily will be an awesome big sister. I have been praying out loud, in my heart, mind that I would know that I would be a mother. I know in my Patriartical blessing it says I will. After a few days of hearing Brandon and Stephanies news I asked J for a blessing and I got my answer. “Motherhood is part of the plan He has for you.” I cried. I was so thankful for that answer, I was so thankful for Him hearing my crys, hearing my paryers and listening to my heart and answering. I also know we aren’t the only ones praying for us. My family is, J’s family is, close friends are. We feel those prayers and we are so thankful for them. Those prayers are what gets us through the rough times. I know without a doubt that I will be a mother, when, I don’t know but I’m not going to worry about it anymore. I’m going to try to do the best I can to do what the Lord has asked of me, try to be good at my callings, try to be a better wife. I want the blessings of motherhood, so I’m going to do what I can to get that blessing!
A few weeks ago at Church the bishop got up and said that if every Temple Recommend holder went up to the Temple once a month they would have to build us a new Temple here. Last week I told J that we needed to go to Billings and he said “to the Temple”. I was like “uhm, if you want to.” He goes “you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” I then asked him if he wanted to and without hesitation he said “Yes”. I knew we needed to go it had been quite awhile since the last time we had gone. I texted Meredith and asked if she and Cliff would want to go. She said she would. That whole week satan worked on me HARD!! My ear started to hurt again like it was infected, I would get bad headaches, I would get nauseated, my stomach/back hurt. On top of all that, that week we were busy busy busy!! Sunday Justin went home teaching to 1 family, Monday we had the Jolly’s over, Tuesday Stephanie and Cecily came over to help me make suckers and dinner for our neighbor, Justin also went home teaching to the other family. Wednesday we were able to rest, Thursday I went over to sister Petersons home to figure out the year for activity days, for dinner we had the Eardly’s over. Friday they dropped their little dog off so we could watch her for the weekend. I liked being busy. I got a blessing Thursday night because I knew I needed to go to the Temple but satan was working overtime on me. Saturday morning came and I didn’t get much sleep since the dog we are watching was walking around since it was a new place. I also woke up with a super bad sore throat, but I prayed that it would go away because I knew I needed to go today. We went to go pick Meredith up and got to the Temple 1 hour early.
I have to say that I’m so glad we went. While in the Celestial room I remembered something my dad said in a blessing when my grandmother died. “She will be waiting for you with open arms.” I imagined what it would be like in Heaven. Everyone dressed in white and hugging each other. I could see in my mind my grandma with open arms, I got teary eyed. I’m so glad we went! All the stresses from that week, all my burdens, all my worries seemed to be gone. Of course as soon as I stepped out of the Temple I could feel them again, but they were lighter.
I’m ready for this year to get started to see what is in store for us! Maybe this year we will be a little closer to having our family grow! We’ll just have to wait and see!!